Section 1
About you
The person these wishes belong to, and the day you wrote them down.
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Section 2
How you'd like to be laid to rest
The first decision a family faces. Naming a preference relieves them of guessing.
Preferred form
If donation to medical science: a separate signed form must already be lodged with the receiving medical school during life — this worksheet flags the intent, not the donation itself.
Specifics — particular cemetery, plot already purchased, family grave, restrictions.
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Section 3
The service
What kind of gathering, where, and what's said.
Type of service
Specific venue, church, crematorium, woodland site.
Name and contact if known. Otherwise note 'family to choose'.
Pieces wanted, pieces excluded, who plays / sings if known.
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Who you'd like to speak. Specific texts. The poem your family won't think to look for.
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Flowers
Black tie / informal / a particular colour / no preference.
Specific exclusions are often clearer than long inclusions. People who shouldn't be invited. Practices to avoid. Things that would distress you if you knew.
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Section 4
After the service
A wake, a small gathering, or simply not.
Gathering after the service
Venue, food, drink, specific traditions, specific exclusions.
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Section 5
Funding
Who pays, and where the money is — so a family never chooses on a credit card.
Is the funeral funded
A traditional attended UK funeral averages £4,510 and a simple attended funeral £3,828 (2025 figures, SunLife Cost of Dying Report 2026). Direct cremation is considerably less. Confirming funding stops a family choosing on a credit card.
Section 6
The people
Who to call first, and the funeral director if you have a preference.
The first person to be called when arrangements need to begin.
A number that will be answered.
Name and town if you have a preference. Leave blank if family to choose.
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A line your family will be glad to read. Anything that doesn't fit a box above.
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Signature
Signed
Date
A formatted record of the wishes you've entered, to keep with your papers. A statement of wishes — guidance, not a binding instruction.
Don't put your funeral wishes inside your will
A will is often not read until after the funeral has already happened. Funeral wishes are guidance, not a binding instruction — so record them on a separate sheet like this and keep it with your will, where the family will look first. Tell your primary contact where it is.
Questions, answered plainly
Funeral wishes — your questions, answered
Are funeral wishes legally binding in the UK?
No. Under the law of England and Wales, funeral wishes are guidance, not a binding instruction — the executor or personal representative retains discretion over how someone is laid to rest. That sounds discouraging, but in practice a clear, written record held by the right person means that discretion almost always defers to the wishes recorded. Writing them down is the single most useful thing you can do.
Should my funeral wishes go in my will?
Keep them with your will, not inside it. A will is frequently not read until after the funeral has already taken place — sometimes weeks later, once probate is underway — so funeral instructions buried in the will are often discovered too late to act on. Record your wishes on a separate document like this one, and store it where your family will look first: with your important papers, and tell your primary contact where it is.
Burial or cremation — what should I choose?
There is no right answer; it is a personal, religious, or family decision. Cremation is the more common choice in the UK and is usually less expensive than burial. A direct cremation — a simple cremation with no attended service beforehand — is the least costly route, and a memorial can follow whenever the family is ready. Burial means choosing a cemetery or churchyard and, often, a plot. This worksheet simply records your preference so nobody has to guess.
What should I include in my funeral wishes?
The decisions a family faces first: burial or cremation, the kind of service and where, who should officiate, music and readings, flowers or charity donations, whether there should be a gathering afterwards, and who to call first. Two things people forget are exclusions — anything you specifically do NOT want — and funding: whether the funeral is already paid for, and where the money is. This worksheet walks through each in turn.
Where should I keep my funeral wishes?
Somewhere your family will actually find them in the first day or two — with your important papers, alongside (not inside) your will, and ideally a copy with the person you've named as primary contact. Tell at least one trusted person it exists and where to look. A beautifully written wish nobody can find on the day helps no one.
Is this funeral wishes worksheet free and private?
Yes. It is completely free — no card, no email, no account. Everything you type is saved in your own browser on this device. You can fill it in over time, print it to A4, or download a formatted PDF to keep with your papers — if you choose the PDF, your answers are sent to our document renderer to produce it; we don't keep a copy. Clearing the fields removes the saved copy from this device.
Where this fits
The worksheet is the start.
The system is the rest.
This worksheet records P-13 Funeral & Committal Wishes — one of 33 records the system maintains. Inside Valoren, it sits alongside policy references (P-06), legal instruments (P-07), and the trusted-person briefing that makes sure the people you'd want reading it can find it on the day.