What belongs in the will, and what belongs in the letter
The single most useful thing to get right. If you want legal effect, put it in the will. If you want context, put it here.
- Who legally receives property and money
- Who your executors are
- Who is appointed guardian (where appointed in law)
- Trusts and any binding gifts
- Anything you want to have legal effect
- Why a decision was made the way it was
- Personal and sentimental items, and who gets them
- Context for guardians raising your children
- Principles you'd like trustees to weigh
- Anything you want understood, not enforced
What to include
A Letter of Wishes is strongest when it is structured, not a stream of consciousness. These are the sections that earn their place.
Context you want understood
The background a will can't carry — family circumstances, relationships, or history that helps the people acting make sense of your decisions.
Personal & sentimental items
The things whose meaning outweighs their value: who you hope receives each, and why it matters. (If an item is financially significant, name it to your solicitor for the will.)
Guidance for guardians
What someone raising your children should understand — routines, schooling, health, the people and comforts that matter to them.
Principles for trustees
If money is held for someone, the principles you'd like considered — education, housing, support toward independence — expressed as wishes, never as instructions.
Explaining decisions that may look unequal
Context for gifts that differ between people, previous lifetime help, or different needs — so silence doesn't become suspicion. You never have to justify a private decision; this is only context you choose to give.
A reference to your funeral wishes
A short pointer to your Funeral Wishes, kept in their own document, rather than repeating them here.
Mistakes to avoid
The same few errors turn a helpful letter into a confusing — or contested — one.
Giving property away in it
“I leave” or “I give” belongs in your will. A gift made only in a Letter of Wishes has no legal effect — and can cause confusion about what you intended.
Contradicting the will
A letter that conflicts with the will is a dispute waiting to happen. The letter should explain and support the will, never pull against it.
Over-explaining or settling scores
Calm context helps; justification, blame, or apology rarely does. Write for the person reading it on a hard day.
Making it sound binding
It is guidance, not command. Phrasing it as instruction invites the false expectation that it must be obeyed.
How to sign and store it
Small details that quietly matter — getting these right keeps the letter useful and keeps your will clean.
A signature and date show it is genuinely yours and which version is current. Replace and re-date it when things change.
A Letter of Wishes is not a will and should not be signed with witnesses in the way a will is — witnessing can blur the line and create confusion about its legal status.
Store it alongside your will so both are found together. Never staple or pin it to the will: marks and attachments on a will can trigger questions during probate about whether anything was removed.
A letter no one can find does nothing. Make sure your executor or a trusted person knows it exists and where it lives.
These are common conventions, not legal advice — where anything needs legal effect, confirm it with your solicitor or will-writer.
When to review it
A Letter of Wishes is only useful while it is true. Re-read and re-date it whenever life moves.
Questions, answered plainly
Is a Letter of Wishes legally binding?
No. A Letter of Wishes is non-binding by definition.
It guides and explains; it cannot give away property, appoint people, or override your will. That is exactly why it must be written clearly.
What is the difference between a will and a Letter of Wishes?
A will is a legal document that gives authority — it decides who legally receives what, and who acts.
A Letter of Wishes gives context — it explains the why, the how, and the personal detail the will can't safely carry. The legal document gives authority; the letter gives guidance.
Can a Letter of Wishes be ignored?
Yes — executors and trustees must follow the will and their legal duties, and a Letter of Wishes does not bind them.
In practice, a clear, reasonable letter is usually respected because it helps the people acting understand your intentions.
Where should I keep my Letter of Wishes?
With your will, so they are found together — but not stapled or attached to it, as marks on a will can raise questions during probate.
Make sure your executor knows it exists and where it is.
Do I need a solicitor to write one?
No — a Letter of Wishes is something you can write yourself.
But if anything in it needs legal effect — changing who inherits, appointing a guardian, creating a trust — that belongs in your will, prepared with a solicitor or will-writer.